All over the world, people are concerned with the availability of weapons, especially those that are used to commit crimes. But one weapon used recently in Germany would be very hard to regulate or enforce.
A woman (who is yet unidentified) in Darmstadt, Germany used her lactating breasts as a way to steal money from a pharmacy’s cash register.
The cops said that the woman approached the cashier and exposed her breasts while pretending to buy a breast pump. (She certainly can’t get done for having a concealed weapon.) Perhaps she needed to show the cashier, so that he could ostensibly find the right size, we don’t know. Then suddenly she squirted milk at the cashier. According to witnesses, she then continue to use the squirt attack as a distraction so that she could steal the cash in the register. The attendant had his eyes elsewhere apparently. She continued to squirt anyone in her path as she ran to another counter and attempted to take more money from another cash register. Then she just took off.
The media are milking this story for what it is worth, while politicians are lobbying for new laws regarding the use of breasts as a weapon. Police say that if caught she will face charges of theft, though armed robbery could not be ruled out. If one or more of the attendants is at all lactose intolerant, then she might face assault charges too.
All over the country, men are volunteering to try and help identify the woman by viewing mug shots and line-ups. “Yes officer, I certainly recognize those breasts.” Official say that the only complaint the staff at the pharmacy had, was that the woman didn’t bring cookies. The staff at last Exit To Reality would prefer that all weapons on the planet be replaced by breasts.