What The Mayan Calendar REALLY Means

Welcome back my friends. It has been a very long time since I have taken finger to keyboard to write and update you on all the strange happenings of the world. For this, I apologize. I have been very busy getting ready for the end of the world. Yes, the end of the world as predicted by the Mayans. That and Christmas shopping. Oh, and traveling and dancing and all kinds of other important things.

lastexittoreality.com-danceOk, so everyone keeps telling you that it will be the end of the world soon. According to some people December 21st, 2012 is predicted to be the end of the world, or as many hippies would prefer to have it, it will be the BEGINNING of a new consciousness. I am sure the latter is predicted by them, as many are organizing 3 days parties that will just be starting on the 21st, and it would really suck if the world ended just as the first dj started playing.

lastexittoreality.com-end_of_the_worldBut what really, is all the hoopla about? Well, The Mayan calendar is a system of calendars used in pre-Columbian Mesoamerica. It’s a pretty confusing jumble of numbers.
For example, the Habb’ is the Maya solar calendar made up of eighteen months of twenty days each plus a period of five nameless days at the end of the year. The Tzolk’in is the Maya Sacred Round or 260-day calendar.
What? 18 months? 20 days a month? 260 days years?

Confusing at best. But it seems that the fact that this form of time keeping is even still used today in many modern communities in highland Guatemala and southern Mexico is proof that it is not just a passing fad. In my opinion, it is that they simply find it far easier to use a eight and a half tonne stone calendar for 5000 years, rather than buying a new one every year, or risk getting a tacky picture one from their friends at Christmas.

Working in the laboratoryBut this blog is not at all about my opinions, no siree bob. This is about science, research and fact. Last Exit to Reality have employed some of the worlds foremost scientists to uncover the truth about the Mayan Calendar. They even wear real lab coats and stuff. They look cool, wear safety glasses and carry clipboards. So you can rest assured what they say is true. That, and you are reading this on the internet, the worlds most trusted source of information.

Our scientists went to Paris, Texas, where the supposed original big stone calendar is kept in a warm vinegar and salt water bath in a fortified complex owned by Oprah Winfrey. Unfortunately, even with all their science gear on and official looking name tags, they could not get past the main gates. So instead we sent our team to Mexico City, where a huge 8 tonne copy of it is on display at the Museo Nacional de Antropologia. They looked at it a lot, poked it and dropped liquids on it. The conclusion they came to was that it was simply a matter of chance.

It turns out that the stone carver that was making that particular calendar was without a girlfriend for years. Then one day as he was chipping away at the stone a pretty mayan girl walked up to him and asked him to go for a walk, He was delighted, he left he tools and his work and went off. 45 minutes later they Mayan civilization disappeared without a trace. The calender was never finished.

Then on the flight back home, one member of our team was reading up on his science stuff. He read that archaeologists, excavating the ninth-century Maya complex of Xultun in Guatemala, have found what may have been a workspace for the town’s scribe. Paintings on the walls appear to include calculations related to the Maya  calendar.
The researchers say the calculations project 7,000 years into the future. There’s no hint that the calendar ends on Dec. 21, 2012.

And we could have just saved all that money on airfare.

Help keep us writing. You know we need the money.


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