Obsession with 60’s Retro Outfits Explained by Science!

A NASA probe that has been orbiting the Earth has now confirmed a very important prediction of Albert Einstein’s general Theory of Relativity, which describes how gravity causes masses to warp space-time around them. “When the earth spins, it actually drags us back in time” said a researcher at Stanford University in Palo Alto, California. “Some people feel the effect of this motion and are mysteriously drawn to wear moon boots and bell bottoms.”

This also explains people’s fascination with really bad 80’s music, Elvis sideburns and leg warmers. To understand this, you have to try and imagine the Earth as if it were immersed in honey and as the planet spins, the honey around it would swirl. So it’s the same with space and time. What researchers found is that we have is a bunch of space and time swirling around our planet. “Many people can not break free of this grasp” said Doctor Harold Hauser of The 60’s & 70’s Addiction Research and Recovery facility in the Haight-Ashbury district of San Francisco, California. “This is why you have people still buying Abba albums and why there are such an abundance of ‘retro’ second hand stores charging $80 for a used pair of jeans that was only $8 brand new in 1972.”

The researchers at Stanford also hypothesized that if everyone stood completely still for just 2 minutes at the same time the world over, then the world would be instantly shunted back to somewhere between late 1963 to mid 1964. This would cause such a space-time nightmare, that it would wipe out nearly 96% of the worlds population. “It’s no big thing if it affects a few individuals, and they choose to dress in suits with patches on the elbows, wear polka dot dresses or listen to old Human League albums” said Doctor Adrian Roberts of the Stanford team. “But for gods sakes people, don’t just sit around and reminisce about the good old days or you might end up there!”

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