A few days ago I got a text from some random that got my phone number from god knows where and it said simply this: “h2 ctch you at yr gig thu, yr muzc rox”
Ok, so if you read it a few times, you will probably get what it means. But I have to ask, why SHOULD you have to read it 5 times? Is it really so hard to type out the words in full, especially considering that most phones make typing a message pretty easy with predictive text. Is this the way forward for lang? (that’s text speak for language) I certainly hope not. Imagine trying to read a novel that was written entirely in text speak. Although not actually a story of any kind, you can actually order a book entitled (very eloquently I might add) WAN2TLK?: Ltle Bk of Txt Msgs. They claim to have sold over a million copies. Who would buy such a book?
Of course now it is not at all limited to texts. From facebook to twitter, on all manner of social networking sites and chat sites, people are saying “hi, Ive somit 2 sA”. And I am sure if you speak text, you my find it interesting though probably not. How can anyone properly express themselves? Consider this sentence: I need to eradicate all negative feelings I may harbor towards the percentage of the population whom engage in text speak. Roughly translated into text it becomes “I nd 2 eradicate ll neg feelNs I may harbor 2wrds d % of d population whom ngage n txt spk”. Notice how if it’s a word that is used by people with anything over a year 6 education, it has to be typed in full? When I read something like that, I really can’t eradicate anything. Sorry. Not possible.
Ok, you might ask, what is the problem with a few people talking text? It may seem that at worst it is just annoying (and there is no doubt whatsoever that it is). But consider the long-term implications. People who talk text pretty much group with people who talk text. They text each other, chat on MSN or facebook, and eventually, meet the love of their lives on a text dating site. Next thing you know, it’s “O ILUSM 2, ltz h%k ^!” (sub translation – Oh I love you so much too, lets hook up!). These same people who don’t need a licence to breed (see here) will end up having a child or 2, and how do you think these kids will speak? Like a German with a stutter, like a bulldozer on LSD, like some form of mutant Nokia cyberhuman. If they can even possibly get a job, maybe at the local Starbucks, you will have to say something like “cn Ive a cappuccino plz?” in order to even be understood. This should not be the language of the future. It should be eradicated now.
OK, you can blame the Americans, sure (everyone blames them for everything anyway) but in reality the choice lies with you, the reader. Boycott businesses such as Phones4u, Quiksilver, Ready2fly or anyone else that is too lazy or too cheap to actually call themselves a name that is actually spelled out properly. And next time someone says “ey cum 2 myn n woch eastenders wiv me”, make sure you take a stand and tell them that it’s time to stop. (Both using text speak and watching Eastenders)
Special thanks to this website for showing me just how stupid some people can be.